


Agape

by joonswig



Series: you ain't nobody (til you got somebody) [3]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: ((((very light and barely there this time)))), Alternate Universe - High School, Fluff, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Mark is a football player, Mutual Pining, Pre-Relationship, and having three million internal conflicts which will be resolved in pt 3, theyre just really cute and gross this is what the gays fought for, this is mark figuring out his feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-13
Updated: 2018-11-13
Packaged: 2019-08-23 05:55:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16613189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joonswig/pseuds/joonswig
Summary: Mark realises he's in love with Donghyuk.





	Agape

**Author's Note:**

  * For [frougge](https://archiveofourown.org/users/frougge/gifts), [avarie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/avarie/gifts).



> hello!
> 
> love how i went from updating once every six months to once every 2 days
> 
> anyways!!! hope u enjoy markhyuk the softest gays in the WORLD ! blease feel free to comment or leave constructive criticism!  
> this is a filler btw and maybe one more will come and then finally the last part where yukhei comes. 
> 
> i hope u like it!!!!!!! wig

“You’re a good player, Mark,” the coach tells him, running his hand down his jawline, “your technique is good. But you lack mentality.”

 

“What do you, uh, mean?” Mark asks. The coach’s office scares him a little. There’s something inherently ominous that comes with decor that crosses the line between masculine and toxic. He imagines the man’s house to be adorned with hunting trophies on walls, the mere thought of which disgusts him. 

 

“You only play when you’re one hundred percent certain that you can and you should. You’re cautious and lemme tell you, son, cautious doesn’t win games.”

 

Mark knows he’s right. It how he’s always been, cautious. Never one to take a risk. His friend Jaemin always said it’s contradictory to his star sign.

 

_“You’re a fire sign, after all,”_ Jaemin would say, _“you should be the type to take a risk.”_

 

And yet Mark isn’t. He’d rather have things stable, unchanged. It hasn’t been anything wrong, not until now. 

 

“Tell you what, next game you’re gonna show me you can play like a man. I don’t care if you make mistakes just put yourself out there and play. You can’t stand in the same spot forever,” the man tells him, which only further demotivates him. He agrees, though, thanks the coach.

 

“If you don’t show me, and more importantly the team, that you care, I might have to put you on the bench. You leave me no choice, Mark,” he warns. Mark nods, feeling a little uneasy. Maybe it’s just the picture of Ronald Reagan on the desk. 

 

*

 

“I will kill Duncan in his sleep!” Donghyuk remarks cheerily, but there’s something wanton in his eyes that makes Mark threaten for the coach’s life. 

 

“Please don’t, who will bully me when you’re in jail?” he sobs dramatically, sitting down next to his best friend, Jeno on his other side. He puts his arm around Donghyuk’s back, “no, but seriously. I hate him, but he’s right.”

 

“Look, I know shit about football. I don’t bother with commoner activities. But I know you’re amazing. Maybe not the most active, but you’re smart about things. You’re not gonna risk something, isn’t it good?” the younger huffs, taking out chocolate milk from his lunch-bag. He stabs the carton with the straw aggressively, “I get that Coach Duncan is a brainless jock idiot who sees a ball and chases after it like a fucking dog, but it’s not, like, a football requirement.”

 

“Coach is right, though,” Jeno says and it comes to Mark’s surprise that the look Donghyuk gives him has not rendered him dead on the floor. “You’re okay, hyung, but you can’t play for shit. Strategy is not taking no risks, but calculating which are worth it. And it’s almost never worth it to you.”

 

“And that’s shit?”

 

“Yeah, it’s shit. Like, I love you but it’s like your default setting is being passive about everything. And why you’re fucking up things for yourself, usually, I don’t really mind it. But this one affects the team, so I’m with coach,” Jeno admits. Donghyuk is fuming.

 

“Mark just has a brain that all of you probably lack, so he thinks about the consequences of his actions,” he defends him and Mark smiles gratefully. 

 

“There are no actions he can really think over,” Renjun butts in, “he just thinks. No conclusions.”

 

“Gee, thanks, I get it. Just so you know, I’d stop being passive, if something was worth it. But if the cons outweigh the pros, it’s just logical to back out,” he explains, but he doesn’t find himself very convincing. 

 

“Whatever, Mark, it’s your life,” Jeno sighs, “it’s just funny how nothing’s ever worth it.”

 

He has a point there.

 

*

 

He walks Donghyuk back home, the chilly November wind carrying the colourful leaves to the ground. The younger kicks the ones at his feet, giggling into his scarf, childlike as can be. Mark feels this underlying urge to take him into his arms and hug him, but doesn’t. There’s no reason he should. He just smiles, eyes focused on the boy. 

 

“Do you think I’m too passive?” he says, suddenly, reminded of the earlier conversation. 

 

Donghyuk turns around, “why do you ask?”

 

“I’m not sure. Jeno must have gotten to me,” he dismisses, “it’s dumb anyway.”

 

“You are passive. But I don’t find it anything wrong,” Donghyuk replies, taking Mark’s hand in his, very gently, only holding the tips of his fingers, “it’s your comfort zone. Jeno or anyone else can’t force you out of it.”

 

“What if-” he pauses, “what if I’m missing out on things? Like, I’m stuck in the same, comfortable space, but I don’t grow. I’m scared I’m wasting away my life.”

 

“Hyung, you have friends. You have good grades, you’re in the team. You’re aiming at one of the top universities in the country and knowing you, you’ll get in. You’re doing so much. Maybe you’re not aiming as high as you’re capable of, but you’re not straining yourself mentally. It’s important, too,” Donghyuk laces their fingers together and Mark finds it oddly calming. “It’s what everyone expects kids to do. You don’t have to, you really don’t.”

 

“God, I love you,” Mark bursts, “thanks. You, uh, always know what to say.”

 

Donghyuk laughs, “it’s fine, hyung. It’s fine.”

 

They stand like this, together for a few seconds that drag like hours. The younger ends up breaking the silence, “that game? It’s important to you, isn’t it?”

 

Mark nods, rather confused, “yeah, kinda? Don’t wanna bench for the rest of the season.”

 

“Okay,” Donghyuk hums, “I’ll come then. As your personal cheerleader.”

 

“You come to all of my games,” Mark counters.

 

“No, not like that. Imagine me as a normal coach with liberal views and pedagogical skills. I’ll come and you’re gonna show me just how talented you are. Impress me. I’m a hot cheerleader and you need to score points or whatever you do for me. Play like the coach wants you to. If you don’t do well, I’ll be proud of you. I’m always proud of you, aren’t I?”

 

Mark nods.

 

“Exactly. So you’re going to do your best. And I’m gonna be watching. And I’m gonna be proud as fuck whatever you do, you know I know shit about football, anyways. But like, you might fuck up, but I’ll be there and I’ll be so insanely proud and love you so much. Even if you don’t do your absolute most, I’ll be. Just try,” he moves closer and squeezes both of his hands, “for me. And I’ll be there.”

 

“Okay,” Mark agrees, “okay, I can do it. You promise me?”

 

“I promise,” Donghyuk’s cheeks are tined pink because of the cold. Mark adjusts the younger’s scarf and takes his own hat off to put it on the boy’s head. They are so close and he’s feeling oddly sentimental. Wants them to be even closer, but he’s motionless. Donghyuk moves back, rubbs his palms. 

 

“Let’s get home now,” he says, “I’m cold.”

 

“Maybe if you wore anything other than a scarf,” Mark feigns annoyance, but takes off his own football jersey and forces Donghyuk in it. 

 

“You’ll be cold,” the boy protests.

 

“We’ll be there soon and you only have a fucking cardigan on, you little idiot,” Mark buttons it up. It looks good on Donghyuk, “you won’t come to my game if you’re sick.”

 

“You’d miss me,” the younger protests, “I guess I have to be extra careful now.”

 

“Yeah,” Mark smiles, walking a bit behind Donghyuk, liking the sight of his name on the boy’s back. Like he’s the one keeping him warm.

 

“See you then,” Donghyuk tries to take off the jersey once they get to his doorstep. Mark stops him.

 

“No, keep it. You look good,” he admits, “wear it to the game. You’re my personal cheerleader after all.” He doesn’t know where the boldness is coming from. 

 

Maybe it’s just Donghyuk.

 

*

 

“Good game, Lee,” coach Duncan calls out, gives him a pat on the back. “You went wild there, son. You’re a good kid, you listen well.”

 

Mark finds it hilarious, but thanks coach with a straight face. Jeno appears next to him, swings his arm around his shoulder, “I’d like to think I motivated you, but then again, Donghyuk wore your jersey to the game, so I don’t think I have much credit due.”

 

“He’s supportive,” Mark replies, rather flustered at the implications, “it’s motivating.”

 

“Yeah, sure,” Jeno grins, “let’s go change, now. Don’t wanna keep him waiting too long.” 

 

Once they’re out, Donghyuk greets Mark with a bone-crushing hug, “I’m so so _so so so_ proud, you can’t even imagine.”

 

Under the bleacher lights his face looks ethereal. Mark wants to kiss him. He moves away, “thanks, Hyuk. It’s thanks to you.”

 

“ _No,_ ” the boy refuses, “it’s all you. You showed that piece of shit, good for nothing Duncan just how well you play. I knew you could do it.”

 

“Yeah,” Mark smiles, “you did.”

 

The ride back home is comforting, albeit silent. Mark can’t focus on the road, glancing at the boy beside him every once a while. He’s dozing off, head naturally falling on Mark’s shoulder. 

 

He’s in love with Donghyuk, he realises. It’s a realisation that isn’t shocking. It’s something he’s always known, deep down. It’s like jumping from the cliff into the softest, calmest sea. He parks at the boy’s driveway, but doesn’t wake him up.

 

He's in love with Donghyuk, unconditionally, fully, wholly, nothing more than adoration occupying his thoughts. Mark feels so much, like a vast array of colours, smells, sensations, overwhelming, but at the same time calming. 

 

He’s in love with Donghyuk and the thought is terrifying, but more so beautiful. 

He's in love with Donghyuk and it might just be worth it. 

**Author's Note:**

> hello <3 thank u for reading!! hmu on [twitter dot com](https://twitter.com/midzyonce) for a chat!!!  
> [buy me a ko-fi <3](http://ko-fi.com/joonswig)


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